letter for my master

hi N-sama... how are you? i hope you are fine anywhere you are. and if you read this letter ... i just can say sorry.. emm... it's so hard to say. that make me can't sleep tonight or breathing when i can't contact with you. i feel so worse when you are angry to me. honestly... i feel some feeling. i know that feeling and i can't lie to my self about it, N-sama...

i, i love you...

sorry, if i'm dare.. but i can't stoped it. i can't lie, or...

a long time ago, i lose you and now. you are here. i know i'm too stupid. i can't do anything to make you happy or help you when you are sad... i'm sorry i just can be a listener. and i'm too selfish become a servant. i want you, so i become your servant. because i love you and wanna make you be mine. i love you master... and i will become the useless person if i let you leave me again. for the second time...
i know i just a pity servant that loves her master..
i know when you said: "i love you..." to me. it's just a words to his things.

but i falling in love with you, and wonder.. can i love as someone that i love? can i?
can i love you, N-sama?  so i'm just a servant... you know when you said that my heart is pounding.. is it true? i feel so happy when you told me that you love me, but...
i know, may be i just miss you.. because i can't contact with you. and i hope.. someday you can love me, as someone that you love... and this moment is all i have... tommorow... i don't know..
thanks for reading...
i love you N-sama....